10-13-22 (2 minutes, 20 seconds)
Country music fan or not, you’ve most likely heard of George Straight. I like many of his songs and enjoy the movie Pure Country, in which he stars. However, my personal ranking of George leaped a few notches upward when I learned this about him recently: He has been married to his high school sweetheart for over 50 years. In an industry that gobbles up marriages and spits them out, that’s remarkable. This is what he said about how he and Norma, his bride of 50 years, made it to half a century together:
“We love each other, and we still like each other. A lot!”
Years ago while my hubs and I still had kids at home, we attended our first and only weekend marriage retreat. It was a horrible experience in that we quarreled throughout the weekend. However, that weekend was a marriage-changer; we realized at least one thing we needed more of in our marriage: companionship. For sure, we loved each other. But like George and Norma, we just needed to like each other a lot more!
I can attest that pursuing whole-heartedly a greater friendship and deeper companionship within a marriage is a precious, beneficial, and worthwhile quest.
If you still have more than a decade until your coop will be quieter, know that it’s never too early to begin the pursuit of companionship in your marriage.
Or, if you’re married and your birdies have flown, it’s also not too late to begin this pursuit. Consider and apply this hope-filled quote from C.S. Lewis:
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
I humbly offer the following tips for deepening companionship within a marriage.
10 P’s of Building Companionship
- Pray Together – Historically, we hadn’t always done a consistent job of praying together in our marriage. However, when our kids had mainly left home, we got serious and committed to casting our cares before the Lord together every single night, specifically for each one of our kids as well as each other, friends, and family. (1 Peter 5:7)
- Projects – These are perfect opportunities to grow in communicating and working together as we seek to honor the Lord as well as each other’s strengths, preferences, and priorities.
(Colossians 3:23-24) - Pursue Each Other! – Be intentional in writing notes, sending texts, initiating dates, baking his favorite cookies, leaning in and listening, …(1 Peter 4:8)
- Play – Learn a new activity together. In the days when we needed a babysitter for young kids and couldn’t afford both a date and pay the sitter, we learned to play cribbage together on Friday evenings after our kids went to bed. It’s still one of our favorite games. (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20)
- Pardon – I’m exceedingly, profoundly grateful that I married a great forgiver. I am regularly forgiven. I am still being taught how to forgive by Jesus and through the example of my husband. Seek to lavishly, generously, and quickly be willing to overlook offenses and offer forgiveness. (Colossians 3:12-14, Ephesians 4:32)
- Pivot – an excellent word that starts with “P” that means defer to one another / the Lord and be willing to change your plan to honor someone else’s preferences above your own. (Proverbs 16:9)
- Praise – Speak what is helpful for building one another up. A wise woman builds her house; a foolish one tears it down. (Psalm 19:14, Philippians 4:8, Proverbs 14:1)
- Puppy! As the story goes, while researching chickens last December, I found an ad for a mini-sheepadoodle puppy. A few days later, we were bringing Phoebe home from Iowa! In addition to “walking us” twice daily, our dog is an enormous source of joy and, yes, another place of bonding and companionship for us. (You were wondering, weren’t you, if there was a Scripture about buying a puppy? Psalm 37:4)
- Pattern – We have worked from home together since Covid emptied workplaces three years ago. Despite a few stressful points (see above: Pardon and Pivot), it has been sweet and rewarding to work together toward a pattern and routine for our work days together. (Ephesians 5:15-16)
- (host a) Party / Picnic / Potluck- Hospitality / serving together offers a multi-dimensional, Kingdom-benefiting platform to grow side-by-side. (Romans 12:13, 1 Peter 4:9)
Photo credit: Brett Jordan, Unsplash