9-22-22
2 minutes flat 🙂
Recently it took three of us to clip our chickens’ wings.
I caught and held each bird, our son gently stretched their right wings to expose the flight feathers, and hubs carefully snipped away a narrow row of feathers to keep our birdies earth-bound and inside their fenced-in playland.
I don’t want my chickens flying. I don’t want them to go to the neighbor’s yard or roost high up in trees. I want them to stay inside their boundary, away from danger. I want to look out from my window or walk up to the chicken yard and account for all ten of my egg-laying girlies.
Young adults’ “wings” aren’t meant to be clipped. In fact, at the homeschool high school graduation of our eldest, I was reminded that one of our roles as parents is to fan the flames of our older children and encourage them to fly.
Many years ago, I took that advice to heart and became even more intentional in celebrating and cheering our kids forward into their futures as they pursued their dreams. Now, all four have graduated from college. All four are thriving as they work in fields that they were made for. They have, for all practical purposes, flown the coop.
Writing about empty nesting right now feels like a brand new mother of a three-week-old infant writing about parenting. Of course, this young mom would have something to say on the topic, but agreeably hers would be a somewhat limited perspective.
My insight into this new season of having our nest empty is relatively short-sighted, and I am rather inexperienced. However, I have friends who are blazing the trail ahead of me, and from whom I’m regularly learning about this new season of life. Also, I do have thoughts and opinions from my tinge of experience. I would like to humbly share some of my thoughts with you.
In response to the request of several readers, I plan to write a few times specifically about preparing for and living in the nest when the birdies are gone. Fall seems like a fitting season for this topic as kiddos head to school and go to college.
I realize my gentle reader group is diverse. You are college and career, non- married (love you girls!), widowed and divorced (praying for each of you now!), young mamas who have throw-up on their shoulders and cheerios on their floors (I was just in one of your homes yesterday -your days are REALLY long but the years are short! Keep investing well!), and moms of teens who somedays wish their home were empty!
But many of you are like me, stepping forward as we step back into making dinners for two or one.
Hopefully, in these next few Tiny Letters, there will be nuggets of encouragement for each of you! If pertinent to you, tuck some of these thoughts into a mental or physical file for “someday” or share it with someone else who might benefit from these musings.
Today, golden advice from my dear friend, Kathy.
“When You Visit Your Adult Kiddos”
-Seek to be a “no stress guest”
-Keep “stuff” (belongings, clothes, toiletries) un-scattered
-Be absolutely “go with the flow” for planning
-Be totally flexible with food choices and meal timing
-If on a long drive together, listen to something encouraging, entertaining, or educational. And/or let your kiddo D.J. the music
-Honor / speak blessing over their choices, their decorating, etc.
-Listen more than you talk
-Don’t freak out!
-Review and apply The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (highly recommended book)
-Seek to love them well!