IN
2-10-2022
“You’ve got to get with it,” she said gently yet emphatically as she clutched my left arm and peered at me intently.
I will be the first to admit I am not technically savvy. Just ask my kids.
Or my clients. Many years ago, this personal training client gripping my arm was earnestly appealing to me to upgrade my phone so that I could receive and send text messages from her and others. Reluctantly I was dragging my feet and resisting this change in technology while mildly frustrating one of my most loyal clients.
A few days later, I upgraded my phone thanks to Kristy speaking the truth to me in love.
Eternally more significant than technological adapting, our 10th grade Sunday School class recently discussed Ephesians 4 and speaking the truth in love. Students volunteered cultural scenarios where life is sliding sideways on a slippery path because of the truth of God’s Word not being foundational. Students confessed the temptation to tippy-toe on eggshells alongside their classmates as they sought to be as inoffensive as possible in an unquestionably touchy era.
We contemplated the necessity of speaking and hearing truth motivated by love in an increasingly defensive and hostile world.
Ephesians 4 tells us why speaking the truth in love is imperative.
So that we grow up in every way into Christ.(vs. 15)
As believers, we need to speak the truth in love to grow in maturity.
To become mature and stable Christians, we need to hear and receive the truth in love spoken to us “so that we may no longer be children tossed to and fro by the waves and blown around by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.”
Speaking and receiving the truth in love equals growing up in Jesus.
Pastor and author Timothy Keller summarizes why truth and love need to be a package deal,
“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws.
Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it.”
One winter, I spent a couple of months meeting with a young mom who asked me to walk alongside her for a short season.
Together we prayed, studied the Word of God, and contemplated the words of an older, wiser author who has written volumes of wonderfully helpful books.
Nearing the end of our months together, I remember her excitedly telling me that she had discovered a “new parenting approach.”
Over the weeks, I had witnessed an ongoing and snowballing issue with one of her young kiddos, and so this particular day, I ventured into uncomfortable territory for me.
I carefully offered a truth sandwich with two thick slices of praise bread. Speaking the truth as delicately as I could, I gently confronted a glaring and growing issue that, to me, had become apparent. I spoke from what I understood to be biblical truth as well as seasoned truth gained from my collective experience of parenting four kiddos.
Her response was defensive. Very defensive. I remember my heart starting to beat uncomfortably fast as she stood in her doorway above me on her front steps as she put her hands on her hips and pretty much let me have it.
She was not interested in my opinion, experience, or plea to reconsider this new parenting approach.
She said that as a young mom, what she needed from me was an “atta girl”. She said she needed me to praise and support her, not correct her or point out what I thought were mistakes.
Yes and amen, oh how we NEED encouragement! This road is long, and parts of it are really hard. Our parched souls need some cheering along the way. But the truth is, our hearts, minds, and souls need a whole lot more than just “atta girls”.
I recall my own less than stellar responses to gentle correction with a shudder. I’m sure if I thought long enough about it, I could come up with a whole forest of logs in my own eyes.
We need truth, lavishly cloaked in love, if we want to grow in maturity, stability, and Christ-likeness. And to “grow up,” we need love, that is mercifully and generously saturated with truth.